The Curious Career of Nicolas Cage

Killing him won’t bring back their goddamn honey.

I decided to get drunk by myself the other night and watch clips of Nicolas Cage doing Japanese advertising on YouTube (when drinking alone, this is a prime pastime, second only to reading international news stories).

And while farting around on the site, I noticed a trend: People are uploading a whole plethora of “Best Scenes of” montages from different Nic Cage movies.

This “Best of ‘The Wicker Man’ “HOW’D IT GET BURNED?!?!? montage is already sort of immortal:

But also available were these “Best of” videos of “Next” and “Snake Eyes”:

Best Scenes of “Next”

Best Scenes of “Snake Eyes”

And if that wasn’t enough, I found this little gem of a Nic Cage sex scene from “Zandalee,” in which Cage sports a vampire like mane and nails Judge Reinhold’s wife. Love the intense close-up of Reinhold as Cage and Erika Anderson go at it on the dryer.

WARNING: Next two clips not work-appropriate. Or appropriate anywhere for that matter.

And then there’s this, an extended scene from the 1993 turkey “Deadfall,” starring Cage and Michael Biehn and directed by Christopher Coppola, Francis Ford’s son. Yikes:

Amen.

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